


Gone

by KitschKit



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Angst, M/M, mainewash - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-02
Updated: 2015-04-02
Packaged: 2018-03-20 20:16:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3663558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KitschKit/pseuds/KitschKit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He's gone. Nothing that happens will change that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gone

He’s gone. Nothing that happens will change that. No amount of time will dull how much that hurts.

The problem is, Maine’s been gone a long time. Even before the Meta died. Wash isn’t the same person from when they first met either. It still hurts.

* * *

The first time they meet, Wash is running from an annoyed York, and he runs into a solid wall, only the wall is warm and breathing. He looks up shocked and apologizes profusely, then hears North’s laughing and York’s grumbling about pranks and panics. The enormous man angles himself into a corner and shoves Wash behind him. By the time the other two Freelancers come by, he’s picking at his nails and when they ask where he is, he points in another direction. He introduces himself as Maine and ruffles Wash’s hair. He grins and tells him he’s cute before walking off, leaving him a bright red

* * *

The first time Wash gets hurt, he wakes up to the sight of his best friends trying to restrain Maine from doing something. He coughs, and all four of them are on him in an instant. Connie sits on his feet, North and York are on his left, and Maine hoovers over him on his right. Wash is practically crushed by the hug that he’s given and there’s a worried undertone to the growl of Maine’s voice. He feels fond exasperation.

* * *

When Maine gets shot in the throat, Wash is devastated. He doesn’t think think there’s a chance in hell, but this is Maine, and he  _has_ to pull through. So he sits by the edge of the bed and waits, falls asleep in chairs and watches over him. It takes a long time, but eventually he wakes up in the bed he’s waited so impatiently by, Maine groggily looking down at him with a fondness he can’t help but blush at. He throws his arms around his neck and presses himself to the other, crying in relief. He thinks he knows how Maine felt that first time.

* * *

The first time they kiss, it’s an accident. North, South, Connie, York, and Carolina all the standing around arguing as usual. Maine is rolling his eyes at the almost routine fight, and Wash is making his way over to him. North is trying to calm South down, and York isn’t really helping at all, just going on about how wonderful the number one freelancer is. Connie just watches with a look, not that anyone is really paying attention to her. The two volatile females start getting physical, and right as Wash reaches Maine, he’s smacked into him, the taller going to catch him. Their lips meet and the room goes silent. Connie is the first to say something, a large grin spread over her face. York quickly joins in, and Wash is pretty sure his face can’t get anymore red.

* * *

The second time they kiss, it’s because everyone is having such a hard time understanding Maine, and he’s frustrated and tired of the pity. Wash isn’t like that though. They don’t need to voice anything, and there’s no pity when Wash looks at him, just this bright warmth that Maine also feels when he looks at the other. So while they quietly spend time together, Wash occasionally filling in the silence with inane chatter, he leans over and kisses him. Wash remembers feeling shocked, remembers the feel of those chapped warm lips pulling away, and he quickly gets his body to react, shifting closer and moving his lips against the others. It makes the feeling in his chest grow.

* * *

When Carolina gives Sigma to Maine, Wash is happy for him. He could tell how much not communicating with everyone was taking it’s toll. While the red AI made him sort of uncomfortable when they were engaged in certain activities, the relief he gave his growly counterpart was worth it. Wash had no idea that it was the beginning of the end. He feels now that he should have, should have noticed how fucked up Sigma was after that lesson. 

* * *

When Epsilon is put is in his head, Maine is there with him throughout it all. He never quite says what’s going on, and maybe Sigma knows, but he says nothing, no one says anything, Wash is too fucked up too know anything other that the dying unraveling AI in his head, too busy screaming in pain. Still he is faintly aware that he’s wrapped in the one place he feels safe and that eases the pain sometimes.

* * *

He’s out of commission once Epsilon is removed. He doesn’t get to see Maine. It’s not until he’s let out for Recovery that he sees the other, and by then he’s not Maine. He’s not the man that he’d spend hours and hours with, just sitting together in quiet camaraderie. He’s not the man that he’s kissed and fucked and held onto late in the night when the nightmares of the things they’d done came back to haunt them. But he’ll save him somehow.

* * *

He doesn’t.

* * *

They work together. It’s so weird to see, because this is the man that he’s spent so much time with, this is  _Maine_. But it’s not at the same time. It’s in the way he moves, the way he reacts to things. This isn’t the same man. It’s most obvious that this isn’t Maine, it’s the Meta, when he goes to touch him. It’s a very stilited movement, jerky and when his large hand is on his freckled face, it’s rough and  _not right._  This isn’t how it’s supposed to be. Wash tries to trick himself into it for a while, tries to make himself see bits of Maine in the Meta, and he sometimes thinks he does when they kiss. But when they fuck that’s all it is, Wash ordering the Meta what to do, it’s rough and desperate and so so  _wrong_  that he always feels dirty and like there isn’t anything in the world that he could that’s worse than this.. It’s why he helps the reds and blues in the end. It’s why he kills the thing that’s in the body of the love of his life. It’s why he agrees to go with Carolina to kill the Director.

In the end though, even with all that’s happened since that point, since all the time that has passed, the pain is still a sharp knife lodged in his heart. He was never a soldier, he thinks, he was always just fighting to hold onto the people he loved.

**Author's Note:**

> I know I'm supposed to be updating Drunk With Cats, but I'm a little stuck so that's on hold at the moment. And I couldn't not write for RVB given that today was the season premiere.


End file.
